Dec 26, 2018
The Sith Librarian, Imperial Adjudicator, Scott Ackbar, and Karen would like to wish all of our loyal Imperial listeners a Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas. We'll be back with a new episode next week. Until then we're going to sit back, put up our feet, and try to finally zero in the turbo lasers; there's some pesky sleigh that keeps buzzing the Death Star control tower. Pew pew pew...
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the “Star”
Not a Sith Lord was stirring, not even Moff “Tar”.
Jar-Jar was encased in a Carbonite slab,
While Palpatine brood all alone in his lab.
The younglings were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of training droids whizzed in their heads.
And Leia in her 'kerchief and Han in his cap had just settled down for a long Coruscant nap.
When all across Yavin there arose such a clatter, the unmistakable din of controlled anti-matter.
Away to his X-Wing Luke flew like a flash, locked tight the canopy, and flew up in a dash.
The mechanical moon on the breast of new-fallen Hoth snow gave luster to the nine little AT-ATs far below.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a massive Imperial II chasing eight tiny reindeer.
With a little old driver, so lively and green, I knew in a moment ‘twas a Jedi Master I’d seen.
More rapid than Mynocks, his coursers they came, and he hooted and hollered and called them by name:
"Dasher, Now! Dancer. Now!
Prancer Now, and Vixen!
Comet On,! Cupid On,!
Donner On, and Blitzen!
Porch to the top!
As well to the wall!
Get me there quick, or the Light Side will fall!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, when they meet
with an obstacle, mount to the sky
so up to the house-top the coursers they flew, with the sleigh full of Thermal Detonators, and Master Yoda too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of Yoda’s small hoofs.
As I drew in my head and was turning around, through the security shields Yoda came with a bound.
He was dressed all in rags, from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with mud, slime, and soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes--how they twinkled! His wrinkles, how merry!
His cheeks were like leather, his nose like a berry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up with a sneer, and the hair from his ears was as white as the snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad little face and a small belly, that shook when he cackled, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, sort of looked like an elf, and tried not to laugh in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head soon gave me to know that the Sith would be all dead.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
and giving a nod, through the security shields rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,
“Light Side Blessing on you, and to all a Sith less night!”